Archive for November, 2009
ABC has been busy trying to wash its mostly manicured and barely cumstained hands of the whole Adam Lambert fiasco… something about fake oral and kissing a guy. Really? Oprah can parade the monkey-stump-woman and give America night terrors but we’re surprised when Captain Cabaret gets a little flamey? Then again, if we let this slide our god-fearing dirt buttons might get insurged upon by gay predators… did someone say “Gay Predator”? Hit this link if you fear the future
Here’s a trailer for the new Noah Baumbach movie that might make me feel ok about my life for 20 seconds. After that I get to write a letter to my former self about how “Ears” Stiller gets ass and I don’t even have the nerve to score some craigslist strange. Hey, 1998 me – thanks for not learning karate or becoming a bartender in god-damn Ibiza, cause that would have totally sucked.
“Hey, I just got Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk wig on Ebay. Whaddya think?”
Finally saw this via download, because motherfuckers wanna be pushing 2012 in the theatre instead of some shit that gets rrrrreal up eeinn heeeerrrre. You wanna experience some apocalyptic type shit?! Forget 2012! Just get your penny-loafer wearing, Allman Brothers listening, brunch-lovin’ snowflake ass to a theatre in a black neighbourhood and try shushing somebody while Black Dynamite is dropping some pimped out karate on suckas. Forget the 3-D glasses, cause all your cracker ass is gonna need is a shoehorn made outta medicare!
I’m getting excited….when does the apocalypse shit start to happen? It’ll be zombie brains for breakfast, blood stained white barracuda races to the the beach, drinking zombie cocktails with my zombie bro’s while zombie babes dance and groove out to zombie electro. !!Can’t wait!! ………….. Or it’ll be something like this:
