Top 10 list of celebrities to quit twitter:

1. Miley Cirus
2. Stephen Fry
3. Slap Chop Guy
4. JJ Abrams
5. James Brown
6. Aaron Neville’s mole
7. Don’t give a shit.
8. Ted Williams
9. Ellen DeGeneres
10. Larry David

Pondering the fish-sticks joke makes this bear-suit get hot with abstractitude.

As seen across America this Halloween, The Hills fans are out in record numbers. It seems that almost everyone is getting into the spirit and buttoning up their best Heidi Montag Drunk Costume.

We spoke with a few of the Heidi Montag Halloweeners and found that some had put their own spin on the popular costume this year such as plastered Heidi and Sloshed Heidi.

When asked what the best thing about Halloween?, one Heidi Montag cried…“Whyiseveryone beeeinging so mean to meeephhh?”

Facebook Moms are now being encouraged to use a buddy system when sharing details online. A surge of naked baby photos have been discovered on Facebook and some people are outraged. While most of us find this kind of thing hilarious, it actually goes against the Facebook terms and conditions… which is very serious.

Recently a group of Facebook Mom-types, pushing $1500 strollers towards town square, holding signs that said, “Baby balls Are Beautiful!”, and “Naked Eli Forever!” were told to shut the fuck up.

The Bacon explosion recipe has become a regular tradition in the households of many of the 200 million overweight Americans. It’s great as a late night snack, early morning hangover remedy… and now a popular recipe with the corporate crowd.

As layoffs are ever increasing and unemployment rapes rates leap to record levels, office execs are learning that an easy solution to quelling the rebellion is to offer Bacon Explosion upon termination.

“It’s better than a pizza party and cheaper than a 401K” offered an unnamed CFO…. “Thanks to Bacon Explosion our ex-employees are just delighted.”