Looks like hollywood has a new beef to settle! Heidi Montag’s cosmetic makeover has Cher struggling to change the “surprised” stance of her eyebrows into a more disgruntled and furrowed brow. Ever the elegant philanthropist, the “If I could turn back time” hit machine has taken time off of her “Thongs for Haiti” fundraising drive to take legal action against Heidi Montag in the name of “face copyright” infringement. Cher’s lawyers contest the young FWT, (famous without talent) starlette had enough surgery to look like a horny skeletor wearing someone else’s skin after marinating it in milk, silicone and autotune for a weekend… and that has always been “totally our client’s like, thing”.

If Heidi loses the battle for her right to look like a sexy mental illness, there is speculation that the media will eat its own babies for a chance to document yet another downward spiral of a sad, confused girl – proving that these journalists are no better than soul-less vultures, callous and bitter from their own life’s failures. oh… shit.